Life Coach New York City- Julie Holmes Life Coaching

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How to Live a More Positive Life

1. Avoid the news

This can be a tough one because people want to “know what’s going on.” The problem is, the media is filtered and tends to not only tell us what they want us to know, but only focus on everything bad that is happening in the world! If you are someone who is prone to negative thinking, I suggest turning off the news and turning on a comedy!

2. Keep your distance from negative friends and family

There are certain people that I like to call “Energy Vampires.”  I’m pretty sure you know the type. Here are some red flags: they only call when they need something, they talk all about themselves and rarely ask how you are, they are complainers, it feels like work to be friends with them, they always make you feel like you owe them something, they are manipulative, they lie to get what they want, they come around when things aren’t going well in their life but disappear when things are great, it’s exhausting to be around them. If you know someone with one or more of these qualities, chances are they are an Energy Vampire!

It can be hard to distance yourself from people you care about, but if they are sucking the life out of you, I guarantee you will be better off spending your time elsewhere.

3. Your doubts and fears aren’t real

Doubts and fears are just limiting beliefs that protect you from taking chances in life. They aren’t real. When you want to do something but find a fearful thought of “what if” holding you back, ask yourself if the fear is factual.  Facts are facts. Fear is emotion. Do not allow yourself to make an important decision based on emotion. Example: “If I apply for this job they will realize that I’m not as qualified as other people who might apply, so I shouldn’t waste my time”. This is emotional “what if“ thinking and always detrimental to making important choices in life.

4. Distractions, excuses, and time wasters

Many people create distractions and excuses to avoid what we know we should do. Sometimes our subconscious uses these avoidance mechanisms to protect us from possible pain. Some people create drama or turmoil, take on more work than they can handle, or create illness or depression to excuse themselves from life. Others may become addicted to gaming, gambling, shopping, food, drugs, or alcohol to avoid life’s struggles. Try to recognize which distractions and excuses are a source for you to get out of doing something you know you should do or want to do but are avoiding.

Begin to recognize and acknowledge how you allow yourself to be subjected to negativity.  Take note of every time you engage in talking bad about someone, complaining, nagging, gossiping, or any of the above behaviors. Once your conscious mind is aware of your bad habits, they may begin to dissolve, and you can start to incorporate new more positive thoughts and behaviors into your life.

Things to focus on

1. Surround yourself with more positive like-minded people

Once you become more aware of people who are negative, complainers, or energy vampires, make an effort to keep them at arm’s length. Start to pay attention to who inspires you, motivates you, and makes you excited about life. These are the people you want to surround yourself with. We tend to unconsciously emulate those around us, and the more you are around proactive positive people, the more you will become one of them.

2. Figure out what makes you happy and just go for it

What is it that you really want out of life? What makes you happy? What is your big dream or goal? What kind of job sounds so exciting that it would never feel like work? Develop a goal oriented action plan for yourself, and understand what the purpose is behind it. Take action ASAP! Achievements are not what make people happy, progress is what makes people happy.

3. Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses

Spend your time and energy doing not only what you love, but also what you’re good at. This is your sweet spot and where you will thrive. If tasks come up that aren’t your strong suit, delegate those jobs to others. Do what you do best!

4. Discover your own path, not one other’s think you should take

It’s ok to ask for advice from friends, family, or anyone around you that is supportive, but learn to decipher the difference between destructive criticism and constructive criticism. Be careful not to let others sway you too far from what you really want to do. Stay true to yourself. Don’t expect everything to be perfect the first time around. It takes time to master any craft.

5. How can you start to pursue your new goals without totally disrupting your job/life?

Sometimes you have to be creative and think outside of the box. If you want something bad enough you’ll find a way to make it work. If you’re trying to start a new career or business, you’ll probably have to work on the weekends, evenings, or early mornings to get it going. Take baby steps until you’re ready to only focus on your new goals.

6. Life is a journey not a destination

Life is a constant learning experience. Be mindful not to judge yourself. Learn from your mistakes and continue to move forward. Now you can begin to use your creative mind to start building the life of your dreams!